Asssalamualaikum

The reason why I write because I keep wondering if I am ready or I'm not ready? I'll going back to my university in less than 24 hours. It sounds kinda crazy right? The class will be started on 5/9 which means I've almost a week left before class start.

Actually there's something I'm gonna do, something about urm..(tajmi'). It sound impossible for someone like me who before this always have a crisis identity (?)

There's a task that I need to do, to make sure I'll not futur (iman lemah) which I did it recklessly. I try to cover my mistake in this 2 weeks but I still in the same stage. I don't want to be someone who is faqihu (know but not doing anything). I seriously want to be faquhu( know and do it) but it's hard, it seriously hard because you need to leave anything that can't lead you to jannah.

It seriously hard, I was about to give up because I don't tell mum that I was join this and I don't even tell my murobbi because she looks like she's giving up on me or is it something that I was thinking (?) That's what I was keep thinking if I'm ready or not? I do pray to Allah to help me getting through this journey. 

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